I have 9,000 unchecked points on my things-to-do list, but, for the first time this week, my stomach has stopped churning enough to write this final blog before leaving for camp.
I turned on "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks last night hoping to distract my mind and give me a chance to sleep. The first line I heard (it wasn't rewound) was, "Do you ever feel that you've become the worst version of yourself?" And this, my friends, is exactly how I've felt the past few days. I'm entering these next six weeks paralyzed by insecurity. Honestly, most of me wishes I was teaching swim lessons for a few hours every morning and laying on the sofa watching MTV with the rest of my day. I suppose this is precisely why I'm going. I kind of have that panicked feeling you get when you're mid-air and you know you're about to belly-flop; I want to curl up into a ball...but I can't.
Oh well. I'll go. I'll have a great time. I'll learn a lot. I'll look back on all of this and laugh...or cry. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited. I'm excited about the moments when my cabin of mid-school girls is talking and laughing and putting on make-up before they go down to the lake. I'm excited about standing in chairs and dancing and singing and cheering. I'm excited about teaching a small group of kids how to study and use their Bibles. I'm excited about Slush Puppies.
I will miss this though, but it is only six weeks. Catch ya on the flip side friends!