Today I want to be small. I don't want to be intimidating. I want someone to realize that I need protection, that the confident exterior isn't always, or even usually, what it seems. I want to be seen and loved by the same non-related person. I want to be fragile. I want to be feminine.
I want it all and I don't want to have to do anything to get it. I don't want to have an in-depth discussion of what I'm eating and how "I really shouldn't..." I don't want to wear tight or low shirts. I don't want tips at Sonic based on my ass. I don't want to wear stilettos to 7:30 am Western Civ. I don't want to spend my time straightening and then curling my hair.
I want it to be okay to be hungry and to eat, rather than being congratulated on avoiding food. Most of the time I want to wear a hoodie, jeans, and flip-flops and I want to wear my hair in a pony-tail. I want to lay in the grass and look at the night sky rather than picking out my outfit for the next day. I want someone to see that as beautiful.
And I don't just want this for me. I want Mia Hamm and Marilyn Monroe to be considered feminine. I don't want the girls at Kelsey's school to have to "eat water" at lunch to be desirable.
And, in light of all this, tonight I'm wanting Christ to come back in a kneeling, weeping, pleading kind of way.