I thought I would laugh more.
I thought I would build relationships with high schoolers.
I thought I would leave refreshed.

The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Sometimes I get scared.
Sometimes I don't trust God.
Sometimes I try to do it on my own.

I do believe; help my unbelief! Mark 9:24

She'll tell you no one understands her.
She'll tell you she doesn't care.
She'll tell you she hates them.

For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

God is not intimidated by thick black eyeliner.
God is not intimidated by their pasts.
God is not intimidated by determined discontent.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time now and forever. Amen. Jude 24-25

The Bible says I deserve to die.
The Bible says Jesus loves me anyway.
The Bible says love changes everything.

We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

She uncrossed her arms.
She looked me in the eye.
She had fun.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 2 Corinthians 3:17

She asked a question.
She understood.
She cried.

He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippianns 1:6

And I am tired.
And I am humbled.
And I am thankful.

The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

"We do not want merely to see beauty...We want to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it." -C.S. Lewis The Weight of Glory
That sounds good. I'll have that.
I don't know what's going on lately.
Life is good...Really good. I'm so...blessed.
My family is doing well. (My brother just bought a new truck and is stoked about it.)
I've been dating Daniel for seven months now, and it's awesome.
School was a little bit easier this week.
I've been getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep every night.
I've been exercising. (Official half-marathon training has started...ish.)
I get to go to freaking Pine Cove this weekend.
But I still don't exactly feel on top of the world. I feel tired, worn out, bored, dry. The class discussions that used to really interest me now inspire a mental coma and situational ADD. I'm currently reading four books on either postmodernism or emerging churches and I'm sick of it.
But life is so good.
Why am I so unenthusiastic?
I know that ultimately the answer has something to do with God, but I haven't quite figured it out beyond that.
Any suggestions on how to get really excited about life, other than illegal drugs, would be greatly appreciated.

"Given that colleges and universities are the primary sources of cultural change, why do college ministries receive such a small slice of the average church's resource pie? If, in the last century, there were purposeful and communal college ministries offering lifelines to young adults drowning in postmodern confusion, this century would look dramatically different. Instead of scratching our heads and wrestling with how to minister in a postmodern context, we'd already have pinned down some answers." -Kara Powell

Dear Church,
The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago...The second best time is now.
Sincerely,
college student