I never did like to refer to it as a "race." That would have implied I was shooting for a specific time or trying beat a certain number of people. Through the twelve weeks of training I reigned in my competitive spirit and set a goal I felt I could achieve: to finish. My goal was just to run the 13.1 miles in OKCity on April 24th. Mission accomplished.
I would consider myself an introvert. I am energized most by being alone. But there is something to be said for being part of something huge. In mile two or three there was a hill. When I was at the bottom of the hill looking up, there was a sea of people. Literally thousands of runners filled the street. Then at the top of the hill, I looked behind me and there were thousands more. It was beautiful. Friends, family, and complete strangers were cheering us on. Some people sat on the sides and played instruments to entertain us as we ran. One woman, age: 60-something, was belly-dancing.
The last half-mile was amazing. The streets were lined with people. I could see the finish line. I had eaten "Gu," which is straight energy, just a couple of miles before. And the adrenaline kicked in. I felt like I was sprinting...probably just took longer strides, but still. I finished. It was amazing. Definitely will do it again...and maybe the whole 26.2 someday.

As of 10:50 this evening official half-marathon training is complete. Tomorrow we drive to Oklahoma City, pick up our race packets, feast on carbohydrates and go to bed early. Then we arise before the sun and face the tendinitis, blisters, muscle cramps, and dehydration that make up the grueling 13.1 mile run. I am nervous but excited.

In other news, my friend Becca has a blog about which I am totally stoked. Check it out. She's one of the coolest people I know.

I've been laughing a lot lately. I don't know if it's the fact that the end is near, or that my school and work loads have lightened a bit. Or maybe it's God. I don't know, but I feel more like myself than I ever have at JBU. I haven't been clamoring for attention but I haven't been shying away from it either. Much of this year I just wanted to fade into the background. Just see, not be seen. But the point of this blog is not a year-end review. Another time.

Brent, have a great time teaching. I wish I could be there. Really.
And to the rest of you: Shalom.

I'm so pleased with the decision to participate in the memory-of-me blog. I laughed ridiculously hard several times and would love to relive most of those with most of you. Memories are good things to have. Thanks for having them. But now to the actual point of this blog:
I work at Sonic. The people with whom I work are...well, they're a challenge. I've heard some incredible stories about some really sad lives. It's cyclical and they don't see it. I've been at a loss as to what to say or how to help. There is one woman, though, with whom I really enjoy working. I asked her to be my friend and she said yes. I have been wanting to hang out with her outside of Sonic, hopefully get into some real-life conversation, but it just hadn't worked out yet. (She has a kid and is going through a divorce.)
But yesterday, she asked what time I was getting off because she was going to something-or-other in Watts (town nearby) and would I like to go. I was praying that I would get off time...I sent a text-message to my roommate telling her to pray that I would get off in time. I got off in time. Then I called her and we decided on a place to meet. Jumped in the car with her and two of her friends and we headed to their old high school. As we sat, she and her friends pointed people out to each other exchanging the most recent gossip about them all. Who had who's baby, who hit who, who's mom got drunk and...you get the idea. The culture of it was so foreign to me. Nobody leaves. Anyway, the reason we were there was, get this: DONKEY BASKETBALL!!! Two teams of 5 play one another. Only real rule: you have to be on your donkey to pass or shoot. All the while the donkeys are bucking, kicking and sometimes they would do my favorite, start running then stop abruptly and put their head down causing the rider to fly off the front. Donkeys would refuse to budge regardless of how hard they were being pulled, but then when the person got on they would take off bucking the whole time. I thought someone was going to get seriously injured...but still couldn't stop laughing.
I wish I could put the hilarity of it in words. I wish you all could have been there.
Most of the time I was asking myself, and God, how I got there. Two years ago I was going to Paris and Edinburgh, London and Rome, and now I'm in Northwest Arkansas watching donkey basketball. What the heck?! I can't wait to see how God pulls all of this together and uses it for His glory.

Part of me didn't want to do this because so many other people are doing it. But that's a dumb reason to not do something that you want to do. It's fun and I like reading and commenting on others, so...
If you read this, you must leave a comment about a memory you have with/of me. Anything goes as long as it actually happened.

Derek Webb was at my boyfriend's school one night, then mine the next. He made friends with the band and managed to get them to deliver me flowers. Amazing.
I don't have a single paper due this week.
My awesome parents bought me the new Anne Lamott book even though I was a brat.
I got eight hours of sleep last night.
God hasn't given up. He still continues to teach and love me.
I got to go to Pine Cove last weekend, which included getting to be "fly girl," which was a dream of mine, and getting to surprise (but not really) my boyfriend.
I got to teach Sunday School. Hadn't taught anything in a while and, for the most part, thoroughly enjoyed it.
I get to go on a women's retreat with The Grove this weekend.
The half-marathon is next weekend.

Life is good.
Sorry for the pessimism. I was exhausted and didn't want to be back at school.
Is this better, Mom?

I don't know where to start. I don't remember where I left off. I don't really have the energy to go figure it out. I don't want to take anymore tests, write anymore papers, define anymore words, eat anymore cafeteria food, make anymore cherry limeades, pay for anymore laundry, read anymore required reading, or be afraid. I want to see, appreciate, create beauty, drive with the windows down, read the pile of to-be-read books, talk and star-gaze, teach, finish the half-marathon, and go to England and Chicago and Pine Cove.
Counting down the days to summer...and graduation.

I had a nervous breakdown tonight.
I'm recovering fairly nicely. (Making lots of lists and such.)
The next few days are somewhat daunting, though, because of decisions I had to make tonight.
"Oh the struggle against great odds to meet enemies undaunted."

I made it. Thursday I had two papers due. Friday I had a paper and a test. It was a rough couple of days. Today I rested...from schoolwork. I planned on blogging yesterday. I had allotted time for it. Then, with a cruel and ironic turn of events, my time-slot was stolen. So today it is. I kind of want to do one of those lists of one-line thoughts but I feel like that would be copping out. IIIIII'm not copping out I'm not copping out I'm not copping out, when You're raising the dead in me....
Spring Break started off pretty rough but ended ever-so-enjoyably. I came back to school somewhat reluctantly...actually I was pouty and ridiculous about coming back. One of the really great things about being a pessimist though, is that things rarely turn out as badly as you think they will. I don't hate it here. I don't know why I dread it so much. Maybe it's Sonic, maybe it's school, maybe it's that I really don't have any close friends here, or that I don't know how I got here or what I'm doing here. But God is good. He's the same God here that He is in England, or Pine Cove, or home. He can and will work here too.
Change of subject.
I ran 11 miles today. My legs hurt but I feel accomplished. Then I went and hung out with my roommate. And by "hung out" I mean "went shopping." I didn't want to say that though because that sounds shallow. But I did...so I guess I am. Then I headed to Barnes and Noble to rest. I didn't take any school stuff with me. I picked up The Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus, which has been recommended highly, and read it...all. It was good. At one point he tells a story about a time when he saw God speak through him and work miraculously. Then he writes:
"Later I would go to seminary and learn that God doesn't speak like this anymore. Essentially I was told that God exchanged the mystical and miraculous for doctrines and ritual. What the Spirit once did, programs have now replaced, and even the Scriptures became proof that God had stopped speaking."
Gross. I like this dangerous, mystical, miraculous, paradoxical, God. He kind of freaks me out sometimes...but I like Him.
I am going to The Grove again tomorrow. I like it there.
Today, at Barnes and Noble, I thought of a great title for my book. It's definitely my favorite so far, and there have been many. Ask me about it sometime. It's funny.
Ok so I kind of ended with random one-line thoughts, but I tried.
Goodnight friends. Peace be with you.